And I know we use capital letters to signify important words. And capital cities to signify important parts of government.
But people don’t come in upper and lower case so how do I know if I’m important?
Walking around big cities makes me feel small. Standing in the capital, around all these important places is just a reminder: Nations will fall. Gods love for me will not.
And I know I have hidden behind stained glass windows and under steeples, trying to convince God that because I’m here, I love Him.
But then I sin. I fall. I screw up over and over and over again. Saying one thing, while doing another.
And from the gutter I so often find myself occupying, He reminds me that He came to save the sick and broken in the first place. Blessed are those who know their need for Him. May these pews be filled with people just as screwed up as I am.
And I know one day we may forget all the people we were ever close too in high school.
But whether or not we remain in contact, or ever talk again when I leave, there are certain people who have changed me.
30 years from now, we may not remember names or faces but we’ll remember moments. Maybe it’s just because I’m still young, but I think no matter how much time passes, there will always be memories that help mold me. This is one of them.
And I know it’s easy to look at these things as simply facts from a history book. Jefferson wrote “I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just. And His justice cannot sleep forever.”
People ask “how can you change a nation that’s so far gone in the wrong direction?”
I’d ask “How do I change myself when I’m so far gone in the wrong direction?” Because a nation is only a body of people. And while I can’t change a nation, I can change myself.
And I know sometimes it feels like the things we’re supposed to do are incompatible with what we’re capable of doing. Like God overestimated what we’re actually able to achieve.
But we have not been commissioned so we have something to try and fail at.
There is meaning in this. And though I haven’t quite found it yet, I believe God really does have something beautiful planned for us.
And I know I don’t actually live far away from civilization, but on days like today it can feel like I do.
I’m stuck trying to push through the mud, ice, and obstacles in my path.
And maybe this metaphor is too abstract, but I do think the work it takes to find people is worth it.
And I know sometimes you can’t see more than two steps in front of you. I know at times you think you’re going in circles.
Winter can be sinister and yet it can be beautiful.
Grace is a candle that can never quite burn out. Your light, when you’ve lost your way.